Let Them Make Mistakes

Don't Give Them the Answer — Post 6 of the Growing Leaders Series

One of the most important lessons I've learned about leadership is that people need the freedom to make decisions. But there's a second part that's much harder to practice.

We have to accept that sometimes they're going to get it wrong.

I've made plenty of mistakes throughout my life. Some were small. Others were painful, expensive, or embarrassing. Looking back, many taught me lessons I wouldn't have learned any other way.

During my time in the Army, particularly in special operations aviation, we trained relentlessly because mistakes in the field could have serious consequences. Preparation, discipline, and accountability weren't optional. Training gave us the opportunity to recognize weaknesses, correct mistakes, and improve before those mistakes mattered most.

That experience reinforced something I've carried into my professional career:

The objective isn't to develop people who never make mistakes. It's to develop people who learn from them.

And how we respond as leaders makes all the difference.

How We Respond Matters

Throughout my career, I've worked with talented people who genuinely care about doing a good job. But even good people make bad decisions.

A project goes sideways. A conversation is handled poorly. Someone overlooks an important detail or makes a recommendation that doesn't work out.

As leaders, our instinct can be frustration. We see what went wrong and immediately want to correct it.

I've certainly been there.

But I've been challenging myself to ask:

Am I creating an opportunity for someone to learn—or making them afraid to make another decision?

Accountability requires ownership, honesty, and improvement. Fear encourages people to hide mistakes, avoid responsibility, and push decisions up the chain of command.

That's exactly the dependency we've been trying to eliminate throughout this series.

In the military, we used After Action Reviews to examine what was supposed to happen, what actually happened, why there was a difference, and what we could improve.

That same approach works in our organizations.

Instead of immediately explaining what someone did wrong, try asking:

"Walk me through what happened. What did you learn, and what would you do differently?"

That doesn't eliminate accountability.

It makes accountability productive.

Grace Doesn't Mean Lowering Standards

I'm not suggesting we excuse carelessness, dishonesty, repeated negligence, or decisions that disregard established safeguards.

Standards matter. Consequences matter. Sometimes immediate intervention is necessary.

But there's a significant difference between someone who made a reasonable decision that didn't work out and someone who ignored their responsibilities.

Those situations shouldn't receive the same response.

One calls for coaching and an opportunity to improve. The other may require corrective action.

Proverbs 24:16 reminds us:

"For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again."

I've always appreciated that message of perseverance. Falling isn't the end of the story. What matters is whether we get back up, learn, and move forward.

That principle applies to leadership development.

Give people room to make decisions within appropriate boundaries. Expect them to own the results. Help them understand what went wrong. Then give them the opportunity to apply what they've learned.

If every mistake costs someone our trust, we'll eventually build a team that's afraid to lead.

A Question for Leaders

Think about the last time someone on your team made a mistake.

How did you respond?

Did you focus on what went wrong, or did you help them understand how to get it right next time?

Here's the question I've been asking myself:

Would the way I handled that situation make them more comfortable bringing me their next mistake—or more likely to hide it?

Because our reaction to someone's mistake often teaches them more about our leadership than anything we say about empowerment.

Hold people accountable. Maintain high standards. Protect the mission.

But remember that developing leaders requires giving people room to learn, recover, and grow.

Don't punish the learning. Correct the mistake. Build the leader.

Don't just solve the problem. Grow the person.

Go Be The Reason.