Redefining Success

When I was younger, success looked simple. It was about winning the game, making the grade, or getting the recognition. Later, it was about promotions, money, and proving myself in the eyes of others. The problem with that version of success is that it’s always moving. No matter how much you achieve, there’s always another level, another title, another benchmark that keeps you chasing.

Life — and plenty of failure — taught me to redefine what success really means.

In the Army, success wasn’t about medals or pats on the back. It was about trust. Could the guy next to me count on me when it mattered? Was I prepared to do what I said I would do, even when it cost me? That kind of success wasn’t flashy, but it was real. It was about being dependable, not just impressive.

Later in life, in business and school leadership, I realized that profit alone wasn’t the measure of success. Yes, the numbers matter. But the real question was: Are we being good stewards of the resources entrusted to us? Are we spending wisely, or just because we can? That’s where leadership shows its true colors. It’s not about squeezing out a surplus and calling it success — it’s about making decisions with integrity, transparency, and a sense of responsibility for the bigger mission.

I learned the importance of what I call the “yes-and” approach to leadership. Anyone can be a “yes, and we’ll figure it out later” leader — but that’s not stewardship, that’s recklessness. Real leadership is saying, “Yes — and here’s how we’re going to do it responsibly.” That’s the kind of yes people can trust, because it’s rooted in honesty, planning, and accountability. Integrity, stewardship, and transparent leadership form the backbone of that approach.

Even at home, I had to redefine success. Early on, I thought being a good husband or father meant providing well and keeping things running. But real success was sitting on the floor with my kids, listening when I was tired, showing up for the small moments, and living in a way they could respect when they were old enough to understand. Success wasn’t measured in things — it was measured in trust, presence, and consistency.

Here’s the truth I’ve come to see: success is less about the trophies on the shelf and more about the person you become on the journey. It’s about living with integrity, keeping your word, and owning your choices — even when they lead you through failure. Success is growth, not perfection.

Lesson: Redefining success means letting go of what the world tells you it should look like and choosing instead to measure it by how faithfully you lead, how wisely you steward what you’ve been given, and how consistently you live with integrity. Success isn’t about being ahead of others — it’s about being better than the person you were yesterday.

Challenge: What does success look like in your life — and is it measured by trophies, or by trust?